Why Marriage?

Where Things Stand:

 Working to Win the Freedom to Marry Worldwide

Thirty countries worldwide so far have affirmed the freedom to marry for same-sex couples, meaning that more than 1.2 billion people (16% of the global population) now live in a country in which same-sex couples can share in the tangible and intangible protections, responsibilities, dignity, security, and commitment of marriage. 

The jurisdictions that have so far affirmed the freedom to marry for same-sex couples now include every continent (even, thanks to Taiwan, Asia, and thanks to international treaty, Antarctica). Same-sex couples can marry in all of North America (excepting only the Caribbean countries), most of Europe, and most of Latin America (where more than 70% of the population now live in a freedom to marry country). 

Marriage discrimination has been engaged in a variety of arenas and ended via a variety of methods: in the courts, the legislatures, at the ballot, in public debate, and in millions of conversations that have opened hearts and changed minds. The resultant mountain of evidence, expertise, and experience refutes the claims made of problematic consequences, and instead proves that when the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage ends, families are helped, and no one is hurt. 

Respecting gay people’s right to marry does not interfere with each faith’s ability to determine its own rites of marriage; religious freedom and civil equality are compatible and cherished in free societies. Neither the demands that marriage be preserved for “procreation”, nor fears that giving same-sex couples access to marriage will somehow put off different-sex couples from getting married, nor, for that matter, the more general “sky falling in” arguments hold any water. In fact, the opposite is the case. Extending the freedom to marry to same-sex couples has not and will not undermine the institution of marriage itself; the history of marriage is a history of change and expanding inclusion. Marriage is not impaired, nor is religious freedom infringed, by respecting same-sex couples’ equal participation and need; the sky has not fallen where marriage has embraced same-sex couples; and in those countries that have ended the denial of marriage, the gays have not used up the marriage licenses. There is enough marriage to share – and now, that mountain of experience to prove it.

The worldwide track record also demonstrates that “civil partnership”, “civil union”, and other such comparable or “same but different” / “separate and unequal” alternatives in the place of marriage are no substitute for the freedom to marry itself, because lesser and other options fail to provide the full protection, security, clarity, and dignity that come with marriage. Additionally, ‘same-but-different’ solutions maintain the ‘otherness’ of same-sex couples, leaving them in a state of legal incapacity through continuing discrimination and denial of dignity. This is untenable in a 21st-century society. All this is not conjecture; there is now a track record and evidence.

When marriage discrimination against same-sex couples ends, there are three broad trends that can be observed from the 30 countries that have affirmed the freedom to marry for all loving and committed couples.

1. First, support for the freedom to marry increases when it is introduced; even in countries where there is low population support, support increases for the freedom to marry; in Brazil, for example, where support for the freedom to marry rose from 45% in 2013 to 52% in 2017; 

2. Second, ending marriage discrimination leads to anti-discrimination measures being reinforced and implemented and LGBT people being protected as a result; and,  

3. Third, where same-sex couples are able to share in marriage, the opponents’ projected societal breakdown, so-called “Acts of God” and divine wrath etc., have failed to materialise, and their false and damaging claims, demonising and othering LGBTQ+ people, have been effectively refuted by truth and the lived witness.

Perpetuating the denial of marriage to same-sex couples delays progress in so many areas – and, the record is clear, there is no good reason for that perpetuation. Putting the government and the law on the side of loving and committed couples and their families may not eliminate all prejudice and disagreement, but it affirms basic values of freedom, equality, and dignity, helping advance progress more effectively. The track record in the 30 countries that have introduced the freedom to marry shows that acceptance grows, often quickly, after implementation – even in countries where there was originally relatively low popular support for marriage between same-sex couples. Once people see the truth, following enactment, they move forward, or at least move on, and the law must look to evidence and to principles, not to unfounded fear or prejudice. 

Low support or wider concerns should not hinder courts and legislatures from the focus of the issue as to whether a State is permitted to deny the enjoyment of the freedom to marry or the associated right to manifest beliefs and practices. In light of the above, the answer to this must be no. Government should stand on the side of protecting people and rights, not perpetuating prejudice. Ending marriage discrimination not only allows same-sex couples to enjoy the dignity and protection of marriage equality but also has positive consequences for sexual minorities, including those within the trans community, their loved ones, other minorities, and – crucially – society as a whole. 

The freedom to marry should be respected as a universal human right, and no ad hoc lesser alternative should be promulgated as a “same-but-different” substitute. There is a mountain of evidence and experience now from countries around the world – and it’s time to allow all loving and committed couples, in all countries, to share in the freedom to marry without further, harmful delay.